Switching to a different account poses additional problems like

1) using undocumented APIs (always risky when you sell software) 
2) entering the password for the other account is required, sometimes 
also outside of the context of any session, which would require Remote 
Buddy to run alongside the login window.

I want to avoid both things, so I'm afraid I can't help you further.

There are still solutions, though:

1) You and your daughter could share the same iTunes Library => you 
have access to your iTunes library regardless of whether your daughter 
or you is logged in.

2) Your daugher logs out and logs you in when she stops using the 
computer.

3) The VNC solution you already pointed out, which is also well 
integrated in OS X.

Best regards, 
Felix